March 14, 2017

What I’ve learned from being a mom of boys

Last month, my baby turned two, and I had some time to reflect on what I’ve learned from being a proud mom to three boys.

I had an instinct the minute I was pregnant with each of my children that they were going to be boys. My third pregnancy was the first one that we found out the gender, though even before they told me, I knew it was a boy. A mother’s instinct is strong, isn’t it?

Yes, my life was going to get more hectic. Yes, I was going to be largely outnumbered. But they were going to be a band of brothers. The three musketeers. It was a nice, comfortable feeling.

I count my blessing every day for my family, for my supportive husband, and for our three adorable boys.

Here are some things I have learned along the way:

  1. It’s ok not to be perfect. In the world of social media, it seems everyone is perfect, but don’t fool yourself. As moms, we are all fighting the same fight, and while there are picture perfect days, there are also days where I am counting down the minutes to bed time. Yup, I said it, so you can feel better about thinking it.
  1. Your house is allowed to be a mess. The saying goes, “good moms have messy floors, sticky kitchens, piles of laundry, and happy kids” -how true this is! Let’s be honest: in my dreams, my house looks like a Pinterest museum. I love a clean house – ok, I need a clean house, maybe a little too much. When there was just Jeremy, my first, it was easy to maintain, and actually even when Josh was born, it was still manageable. But once Judah was born, I realized I had to make a choice: Either I’m going to spend my afternoons being uptight about the mess (which, no matter how hard I try is going to happen anyways!), or I could learn to let go – so that’s what I did. I learned to take a deep breath, reinforce a limited list of basic house rules, and let my kids have fun. It not only has made my life easier, but it has allowed me to be a better mother focusing on spending quality time with my children instead of constantly worrying about the mess.

  1. Constant action and adventure is essential. A friend of mine who has girls asked me for a Sunday activity, so I gave my tried and true suggestions:  biking, hiking, rock climbing. She laughed and said I can tell you’re a mom of boys. Yes, I am! And I’m loving every minute of it! My boys are up for anything – they love going out and doing things, and best of all, we are spending quality time and making memories together.

  1. You’ve heard the phrase, “It takes a village,” well it really does, so be sure to allow the village to help! It’s ok to ask for help. Call a babysitter so you and your husband can get out for date night; have a family member come over so you can get a cup of coffee by yourself and read for an hour. It’s hard to get, out but once you do, you’ll be so grateful!
  1. Let them be boys! The smartest thing I ever did was to give my boys a digging area in the backyard. They stay in their designated area instead of the digging up the whole backyard, and the three of them plan and dig build for hours together. I sit outside and watch the three of them band together, with Jeremy leading the pack, Josh dutifully following orders, and Judah tagging along trying his hardest to keep up. (And don’t worry they go straight into baths as soon as they come inside.)
  1. Show some love. Yes, they’re boys. Yes, they may say eww! But every day I hug and kiss my boys and tell them I love them, loud and proud.

Every day I’m grateful, grateful for my family. Grateful for the chaos. Grateful for the dirt, mess, running around, and most of all for the love that fills my home.

Kisses to all…now I’m going to scrub the kitchen floor because some boys had a food fight over supper. But hey, they had fun and created memories, right?